Worst/most embarrassed thing to happen to ye?

[paul_oshea]

well?

[paul_oshea]

putting the thread in the wrong place for me

any chance of moving it to off topic?

[carrickharp]

Hee Hee

[Mad Moose]

Well one that stands out for me.I was serving mass at a funeral when I was around 10 or so. It was a massive funeral for a nun (Sr Claire, god rest her soul) The church was packed with about 10 priests and the alter was full.It was a nerve racking experience so I was in the sacristy and ready to walk out to the alter to light all the candles. I would have been the only one on the alter. I was lined up waiting for the cue to walk to the alter. I proceeded on and walked into the glass panel door that was so clean I thought it was open.Landed on my back and didn't feel the pain for embarrasment.

The first time I remember people laughing at a funeral. These days on my Pre-School visits with the memory fresh in my mind I ask for transfers on glass doors.

There are plenty more stories but I've embarassed myself enough.

Brendan

[paul_oshea]

LOL, that is funny, lots of people walk into glass doors, i once saw someone in dublin run into the window of i think schuh or clarks its on the corner of some street on oconnell street beside easons i think.

in fairness serving was really nerve racking at least i thought so. hey at at least you can say you were the first person to make somene laugh at a funeral and to change the sombre mood somewhat!!!

were your parents at it?

[Mad Moose]

were your parents at it?

Nah but sure they were a greater source of embarrassment over the years. Particularly mindful of a time when I was 15 and cycled to town. Met a few mates who were on a sponsored car wash so I gave a hand. I was declared as missing by a phonecall from my mother to the gardai and she made a few phonecalls to one or two not mates home looking for moi.

Brendan

[blobbyblob]

Well one that stands out for me.I was serving mass at a funeral when I was around 10 or so. It was a massive funeral for a nun (Sr Claire, god rest her soul) The church was packed with about 10 priests and the alter was full.It was a nerve racking experience so I was in the sacristy and ready to walk out to the alter to light all the candles. I would have been the only one on the alter. I was lined up waiting for the cue to walk to the alter. I proceeded on and walked into the glass panel door that was so clean I thought it was open.Landed on my back and didn't feel the pain for embarrasment.

The first time I remember people laughing at a funeral. These days on my Pre-School visits with the memory fresh in my mind I ask for transfers on glass doors.

There are plenty more stories but I've embarassed myself enough.

Brendan

Thats funny - Meself and me mate used to serve. During mass we used to have to sit on a marble step in front of alter. One on the left and one on the right with about a 10 foot gap between us. There was a red carpet at our feet and while mass was in flow we'd pick the red fluff off and try and blow it across the alter and get it between the other lads fingers( index and middle finger in the shape of a v on the marble step) for a goal. I think i was 4-3 up when the priest cop us and proceeded to rain fire and brimestone upon us in front of miss flock. I was never so happy me mother decided to skip 10 o clock mass for the first time in 30 years that day. Mortification was not the word.

[Mad Moose]

Thats funny - Meself and me mate used to serve. During mass we used to have to sit( on a marble step in front of alter. One on the left and one on the right with about a 10 foot gap between us. There was a red carpet at our feet and while mass was in flow we'd pick the red fluff off and try and blow it across the alter and get it between the other lads fingers. I think i was 4-3 up when the priest cop us and proceeded to rain fire and brimestone upon us in front of miss flock. I was never so happy me mother decided to skip 10 o clock mass for the first time in 30 years that day. Mortification was not the word.

Classic!!!

On the mass theme continued I fell off the alter on our local country church.I was standing with the priest as he was administering communion and me trailing him with the plate to catch the communion. Funny I should be telling this for in my dream last night somebody called me an idiot as i let the communion miss my mouth and fall onto a table. Freaky. In fact this was more embarrassing than my earlier episode. I've had it bad.

Brendan

[paul_oshea]

Classic!!!

On the mass theme continued I fell off the alter on our local country church.I was standing with the priest as he was administering communion and me trailing him with the plate to catch the communion. Funny I should be telling this for in my dream last night somebody called me an idiot as i let the communion miss my mouth and fall onto a table. Freaky. In fact this was more embarrassing than my earlier episode. I've had it bad.

Brendan

has anyone ever told you, you are a bit of a dope! only messin

twas very funny about your mother ringing up the gardai

[Mad Moose]

Sure didn't I lose my glasses on the last day of the season at Finn Park while I was dressed in full costume. I was changing and my glasses fogged up so I stepped out of the club shop and almost fell to the ground. I had to get an escort. I stepped out into the fresh air because I couldn't clean my fogged up glasses and thought the cool air would help. I couldn't see a thing.It didn't help then when the kids came up to me and started to hit me and thump me in parts they shouldn't have. I could hear there dad saying thats enough now. It wasn't and it continued so with flailing arms I connected with one of them.They were in shock.

My glasses fogged up on the pitch again when it got warm inside the costume. I took them off and put them in the mouth piece. I couldn't really see but it was more comfortable. So I decided to race the linesmen and ref who were warming up. I got back to the club shop for a break and the glasses were gone. They turned up eventually with me walking around in the meantime in costume without the head.

Embarrassing again.

Yep Paul you got it in one. The stories for me are endless. I am a dope.

Brendan

[Peadar]

I got sick on the alter while serving mass once.
Wasn't feeling too good but I didn't actually feel like I was going to get sick until about 15 minutes into the proceedings.

Someone said to me after that I was lucky I hadn't eaten the bread because the priest would have had to eat what I'd thrown up.
Please tell me that's a wind-up?
That's enough to make me sick now again just thinking about it!

[Dublin12]

My mate ,flew to Argentina to see Boca v River Plate,always been his ambition to see this game,saved hard for it,arranged a ticket and was on his way. Anyway,he got well pished on the flight over and was running a bit late as the game was nearly starting,jumped in a taxi outside the airport and raced over the stadium,could not speak a word of Spanish either,anyway,went in the stadium, sat down and 3 minutes later the ref blew up,players walked off,the fans got up and left .He went back to his hotel,p!ssed off,went up to his room,turned on the TV,and the second half had just started ,muppet

[ollie]

mine was at a cit open day when there was some business presentation on in some large lecture room.i was a bit late goign into it.the presentation had started and as i'd come in the door every1s attention turned to me.i was looking accross the place looking to see where my friend were and walking up the steps at the same time and then i tripped over one of the steps(every1 sttill lokking at me at this stage).what followed was a room full of every1 p!ssing themselves laughing at me for god knows how long.after about a minute even the lecturer was saying "ah will you leave that poor man alone",which of course added fuel to fire and the laughter carried on for another bit.there were no seats left so i had to stand and take it on the chin.
needless to say i went to ucc where i am to this day.

[Green Tribe]

When I was about 13 or so, there was a replacement dentist working in our local surgery. He had a really strange way of speaking, mumbled a bit, so I did not pay much attention to what he was saying as it was really hard to understand him. Anyway, he was taking a tooth out and had put a thick piece of cotton wool in it's place and told me to bite on it hard. So in my wee dream world I was paying no attention whatsoever at this stage. After a few mins he took the cotton out and started looking at other teeth, I thought, " hmm, where did that bit of cotton go?" With little feeling in my mouth, I felt an object which I guessed must be it and starting biting on that. I noticed the dentist say something, but had no clue what, so just nodded in agreement, the same happened again, then finally he said really loud and clear "you're biting my wee finger!! " So embarrassing, but funny afterwards, the poor guy, I must have been chewing away on it for ages!

[Mad Moose]

"you're biting my wee finger!! "

Done it as well.Mind biting into the latex glove.A horrible feel. Christ but the taste of filling. Had alot of visits to the dentist in my early formative years. They would say open wider but you were waiting for your mouth to tear and of course you couldn't say 'i cant open it wider'.

I see from above and myself included the church has a wile lot to answer for.

Brendan

[Metrostars]

On the alterboy theme, it didnt happen to me but it did to one of the other fellas I was serving with....it was one of the holidays and the priest and the incense out and shaking it about. When he's all done, he gives it back to my friend who proceeds to trip on a step, falls down and all the incense stuff spills out much to the delight to everyone on the church except the cranky priest.

[Mad Moose]

On the alterboy theme, it didnt happen to me but it did to one of the other fellas I was serving with....it was one of the holidays and the priest and the incense out and shaking it about. When he's all done, he gives it back to my friend who proceeds to trip on a step, falls down and all the incense stuff spills out much to the delight to everyone on the church except the cranky priest.

Had a bit of an addiction to that stuff. I suppose I had better give a reason for my all to often embarrassments on the alter. Well see there was money involved so myself and my brother would walk to mass to be there for 8.30. We used sit behind the wall and wait for the sacristian to open up. So we were in first we were guaranteed our place. Got our few bob and I fell off the alter.

I also served a funeral many years ago and it was a nun.My feeling is it was the same nun (Sr Claire) who's funeral I was serving when I walked into the glass door. Now I'm worried and she musta had it in for me. Anyhow I will never forget this as would anybody who as ever experienced the sensation of really needing a leak and not been able to get one. I was shaking and it was so uncomfortable.I was quiet and wouldn't ask at a funeral to excuse myself.The worst was standing for a long period of time. In any case the funeral went on and I'll never forget the pain and we walked with the priests to the church grounds for burial. Well it was all too much and I had no option but to wet myself .Yep and I don't think i've told that story to often but I will never forget it. The relief was unreal but the shame and discomfort afterward. It wasn't even a wet day.

Brendan

[strangeirish]

A few years back, I was invited to be on a panel of four to help interview potential loan officers for a bank. After a long day of going through a lot of people, we, the panel found ourselves in the reception area chit-chatting with the potential canidates. I happened upon a conversation with one of my fellow panelists, who was talking to a rather heavy set lady. As the conversation wore on, the lady appeared to be losing the colour in her face and looked like she was going to throw up. I thought her nerves had got the better of her. As we moved to get her seated, my colleague, for some unknown reason, asked the lady if she knew if she was expecting a boy or a girl...................."What would make you ask that" she retorted. Ouch

[Mad Moose]

And she's not the loan officer for the bank.

What did she have in the end!

Brendan

[strangeirish]

What did she have in the end!

Brendan

I think she may have went home and tore into some dietary pills