Topic Bars

**joeSoap** · 02/02/2004, 11:42 AM

Why aren't they bigger??
They're easily the best bar on the market, yet you'd fit one of them into your gob in one go!!
Shame!!

**the 12 th man** · 02/02/2004, 11:52 AM

must say prefer picnic bar or moro myself

marks out of ten
moro/10
picnic/10
topic/8.
star bar/9
kit kat/9
twix/8
mars/7
twirl/8.5
milky way/2
yorkie/7

**joeSoap** · 02/02/2004, 12:25 PM

Would have to go:
Topic 10
Star Bar 9.5
Snickers 8
Time Out 7.5
Whole Nut 7.5
Twix 7
Toblerone 7
Bourneville 7

**the 12 th man** · 02/02/2004, 12:44 PM

cadburys whole nut/10
carmel bar/8.5
wagon wheel/1 absolutely yeuch
toblerone/8.
flake/9

**wws** · 02/02/2004, 1:05 PM

should this be in the off topic forum???

**max power** · 02/02/2004, 1:06 PM

has this not been done a few times before ?????

**the 12 th man** · 02/02/2004, 1:12 PM

Originally posted by max power
has this not been done a few times before ?????

who cares, its monday

**max power** · 02/02/2004, 1:13 PM

does father wishy washy have any hints on how to get through a monday

**brendy_éire** · 02/02/2004, 1:17 PM

Agree totally Joe. Gorgeous bars, but nowhere near big enough. My favourite has to be Boost Guarana. Pure quality hi. As are Moros (especially with a cup of tea). And there's a lot to be said for a plain old Snickers bar.

**the 12 th man** · 02/02/2004, 1:23 PM

Originally posted by max power
does father wishy washy have any hints on how to get through a monday

father wishy washy replies:my son ,idle hands are the devils playground,when a young man has too much time and not much to do,his mind enevitably turns to the pleasures of the flesh.when these moments of temptation arrive you must immediatley distract yourself from these carnal thoughts by doing something that "snaps you out of it"

the holy fathers recommend a very cold shower or a dip into a bath filled with ice cubes.if all else fails and you have a few euros to spend my son,i think a monday afternoon could be spent in angels or lapellos,just tell them fr wishy washy sent you.

**max power** · 02/02/2004, 1:31 PM

thank you father, i am currently, beating myself with a bamboo stick to stop the urges.

**Ruairi** · 02/02/2004, 1:32 PM

christ I'd murder a toblerone

**max power** · 02/02/2004, 1:34 PM

always the same with yee cork fans, violence towards chocolate, my god have you no hearts down there !!!!

**the 12 th man** · 02/02/2004, 1:39 PM

Originally posted by max power
thank you father, i am currently, beating myself with a bamboo stick to stop the urges.

father wishy washy replies:self flagelation is not the recommended method of doing this as it it essentially deemed to be a "selfish punishment"as it is based around the person doing something to themselves.
the powers that be, thought that the persons urgings would quickly turn from pain to pleasure seeking which my son ,brings us back to square one again.in other words your still "mad for it" but
your back,arms,legs or whatever are in a heap.

we are working closely with some old christian brothers right now on some new methods for self distraction which i will tell you about in time.

fr ww

**max power** · 02/02/2004, 1:41 PM

i have found placing sand paper beside a certain part of my body is a great way to feel closer to spiritual forfilment

**max power** · 02/02/2004, 1:51 PM

no i feel it would be of more benefit to the people if father wishy washy posted a thought for the day so that we mere el fans could feel closer to a man who has done so so much for the little black babies in paranell st.

**the 12 th man** · 02/02/2004, 1:57 PM

Originally posted by Guerzy
could you say sunday mass at my local church

fr wishy washy replies;
my son if i can secure a day release from my current place of detention,i would be delighted to attend your parish for your
service.fr wishy washy would like to know is there an early house
in close proximity to the church as he has to have his "first of the day" at 7 am in the morning.

**the 12 th man** · 02/02/2004, 2:28 PM

Originally posted by Guerzy
Fr wishy washy,
I am now a wishy washy convert. Your religion interests me, your sharp yet knowledgeable tone. Yes there is a early house near by o great one. I would guide you there only you will probably walk in the valley of the shadow of death to get there. Tell us oh great one. What makes the world go round. How do babies come out. There is so much to learn from master in so little time. Quench my appetite o great one for you fear no fear

father wishy washy replies:my son the valley of the shadow of death holds no fear for a man of the cloth such as myself.to be part of this mission my son you must learn to fight against your basic instincts.in other words prepare yourself my son for a life of frustration as you constantly divert your thoughts from the opposite sex.

if you can attain this level of self control my son,you will find there are other things in life other than women,football and beer.

just to start you off my son i recommend you start by throwing out your tv,if you have any beer in your fridge discard it,and if you have any bad thoughts, have a cold shower immediately.try this for a month and see how you get on

yours in sport fr ww

**the 12 th man** · 02/02/2004, 3:03 PM

Originally posted by Guerzy
I have done everything you asked me but now my house feels empty and i feel alone. And i dont feel the religious touch of wishy washy coming to me. What do i do oh great one. join you in the fires of hell or head down to the pub for a cool refreshing guiness

fr wishy washy replies:my son a cool refreshing glass of mi wadi or a lime flavour cordial drink will quench all the physical thirsts that can afflict us mere mortals.its the mental thirsts that are the ones that we have to be careful about. when these moments arrive i suggest wrapping a freezing cold wet towel around whatever piece of your anatomy thats causing the temptation.

if all else fails,as it says in the great book if thy eye offends,pluck it out,if your todger is the offender,good luck